Dicecards

"The most dangerous game of all... Dicecards."

- Dan Steele Dicecards is a card game played exclusively by high-ranking members of the Abeloj Federation.

Rules
The exact gameplay of Dicecards has been called "one of the best-kept secrets in the world" by many leading authorities. Attempts have been made, albeit unsuccessfully, to extrapolate the rules based on rumours and folklore. Any groups attempting to do so have mysteriously disappeared.

Royal Beemaster Eagle Awner briefly discussed the rules of Dicecards in his autobiography, Книга о коммунизме и пчелы:

The game is played with a deck of 96 cards, with six suits: Clubs, Dollas, Diamonds, Leaves, Fours, and Nines. In addition to the standard ranks, Dicecards also features a "Jesus" and a "Pimp" card, valued at 14 and 15 respectively.

Jokers feature prominently throughout the Dicecards gameplay, granting the ability to send the winner of a given round to the Gulag. However, these rules are only valid in rooms with ceilings supported by exactly eight pillars.

The highest-ranking hand in Dicecards is often considered to be the "Zaktinator," an Ace of Fours paired with a smooth jazz solo and a white pawn at d1, while in the presence of a foreign dignitary. This is followed closely by a hand known as the "Czechmate", consisting of a Six of Nines paired with a bag of fresh-cut cocaine on a brisk Tuesday evening.

Rumours exist of a hand known as a "Regis Philbin," consisting of an 8, followed by numerous other cards of the same suit. However, as more cards are added to the Regis Philbin, the hand becomes increasing unstable.